A no

I am convinced of the familiarity with this feeling. An almost physical sensation of falling, an unexpected ruin.

All the nerves seem to contract as she completes, letter by letter, the answer that is never wanted in such a great leap of hope.

The feeling of anesthesia falling like a feather into the abyss of disappointment, of almost irreparable pain, of so many tears yet to exist.

The fear of what you will have when your feet hit the ground, what is the best way to continue when everything you wanted at the end of the road was not possible to achieve.

The remorse, the insecurities already healed, all the questions that were never even thought of before now crush every ounce of hope.

Will I try again? Or is it time to give up? But should I give up and what if I didn't do everything I really could have done? Did I fail in so many aspects that I didn't realize?

All the endless questions that repeat themselves in an exhausting playback from the moment I open my eyes to the moment I close my eyes.

How tiring it is, how it ends with a burning desire to continue wanting, how it suffocates not being able to remove the despair of what will happen? From inside the chest, it constantly tears apart a little of the soul.

Finally, the questions go off your teeth no longer seeing the light and all the colors seem to have been drained from your retina.

Hope is desired, but it does not have the strength to sail against the tide, the opposing winds and all the storm that distances it as much as the mind that sails in the state of NO...

Kisses 💋